Putin Is Literally Breaking The Internet

Marina Galperina · 07/07/16 02:47PM

Earlier today, President Putin ordered the Federal Security Service to produce “encryption keys” capable of decrypting all data on the internet. No one is really sure what this means exactly, but the FSB has two weeks to make them, Meduza reports. That’s just one part of the Russian government’s silly and insanely expensive new plan for internet surveillance, signed into law under the “anti-terrorist” bill today and going into effect on July 20th.

The 10 Best Articles Wikipedia Deleted This Week

Ashley Feinberg · 01/20/16 04:25PM

The faceless editors of Wikipedia were on a warpath, wiping out glistening kernels of internet knowledge with nothing but ghosts left in their wake. And this week, they were industrious as hell. But we’re not letting them off that easy.

How the Internet Causes Depression

CML · 09/02/15 10:15AM

That the internet is a miserable place is rarely still disputed. The New York Times ran an article about it in 2012—which suggests most of the rest of us had been aware of it since 2006. Depression itself has been a favorite topic of the internet for at least as long: crudely drawn comics with facile punchlines have achieved wild popularity. This taste of the internet’s consumers suggests that the internet itself is what is depressing us. That consumer and producer alike fail again and again to make this connection is also typical of depression.

Reddit, the Home of "CoonTown," Promises to "Celebrate Diversity"

Sam Biddle · 05/07/15 02:31PM

Reddit is at its best when it has no illusions about what it really is: an enormous internet rock tumbler that occasionally produces something with viral potential for me and my coworkers to post on Gawker. When it pretends it’s not also a hive of racism and slime, it insults our collective intelligence.

Rand Paul Vows to "Look Into" Insane Martial Law Conspiracy Theory

Ashley Feinberg · 05/01/15 03:11PM

The military is not about to take over the Southwestern United States. No one’s building underground tunnels to connect various Walmarts. Texas is not erecting a series of FEMA death camps. And we’re not about to enter the age of martial law in America. But! Just in case—Rand Paul is on it.

Internet Racists Are Pretending to Be Black Looters in Baltimore

Sam Biddle · 04/30/15 11:40AM

For every human tragedy offline, there will inevitably be a group of dedicated fuckers trying to make it worse using the internet. Today’s example is the #BaltimoreLootCrew, spreading white supremacist bile and misinformation about the Freddie Gray protests.

My Super Spring Break: Watching This Holiday Inn Pool Cam All Day

Sam Biddle · 03/06/15 05:35PM

If you haven't yet lost the will to live, what are you waiting for? Scared? Afraid of ending up in Hell? Afraid everyone in Hell will find out you're a big baby? In any event, heaven exists here on Earth: It's a live streaming feed of poolside bros at a Holiday Inn.

Ordinary Woman's Life Collides with Male Wizard Virgin Online Community

Sam Biddle · 01/09/15 03:42PM

Sometimes the world wide web functions exactly as designed, funneling information where it's requested, and expediting tasks that would've taken days in another era. Other times, a group of young men that self-describe as sexless wizards swarms your personal blog.

ALERT: The Pear Emoji Has Overtaken Rick Ross' Instagram Comments

Jordan Sargent · 11/18/14 05:01PM

The pear emoji is not one of the world's most popular emoji, it's safe to say. How often are you eating a pear and wanting to text someone about your pear? As of this writing, per the invaluable Emoji Tracker, ":pear:" is the 570th most used emoji in the world. It has its place, and that's outside of the emoji upper class. That is unless we're talking about Rick Ross' Instagram comments.