Old Mother Netflix Is Disappointed in Her Children Meghan and Harry

A picture would've been nice, dear

TOPSHOT - Britain's Prince Harry and his wife Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, arrive to the ...

We know that Harry and Meghan, those Inseparable Seceding Sussex Sisters, can handle a little bit of Gran’s icy disappointment. They blew up The Firm via their proximity to Oprah, and still managed to get a Jubbly invite. But the maternal presence whose scorn I don’t think these two can tolerate? Their good old Nanny Netflix, the welcoming bestower of life, that money-shielding axer of deals.

At the Jubbly, Meghan and Harry were supposed to get a photo of Lilibet Jr. and Lilibet Sr., which they failed to do. That wouldn’t have just been a coup for the Markle twins, but a rare win for the streamer, which is desperate for any justification for their decision to fork over a reported 100 million dollars to this duo. Apparently, the company is “dismayed” that Meghan and Harry’s photos didn’t reveal any unspeakable truths about the world, or any photos of the baby with Lil Sr. or Kate and Will.

And Netflix isn’t mad, they’re just disappointed, at least so says some lady. Royal biographer Angela Levin told GB News via the Daily Mail that the image would have “very, very valuable.”

“I heard Netflix wanted these pictures of them with the royals, but they were sitting on the right hand side and the rest of them, Camilla, Charles, Catherine and William, on the other side,” she said. According to the Mail, Levin added that “after failing to get the images they wanted they probably just went off in a rage…I think they felt that everyone would drop everything…Even on this amazing day because they were there, they'd come back.”

“I thought they were like petulant teenagers really. If they didn't get what they wanted, they would leave and they left early,” Levin said.

I suppose the Netflix rationale is that their flagging subscriptions would skyrocket if a forthcoming documentary included a three-second still photo of a baby and her great-grandmother. They already offer like 100 true crime limited series on there with the exact same sort of sepia-toned multi-generational money shot, but I suppose the Queen’s presence would make it special. Maybe it would even bring Tudum back.

You’ve brought great dishonor to the family, children, and the world is watching — or at least the rapidly shrinking segment of it that still subscribes to Netflix.