New Book Paints Harry as a Total Weenie

Tina Brown's new book spares no one

The Duke of Sussex at the Invictus Games closing ceremony at the Zuiderpark, in The Hague, Netherlan...
Aaron Chown - PA Images/PA Images/Getty Images
chav-like behavior

To us, he’s modern American royalty who we can’t help but refer to as our “unproblematic king,” our NAACP Image Award Recipient and our official interracial liaison, and our red-headed hunk with a face for television and a voice for podcasting (eventually). But back home at Highgrove, Prince Harry is, and always has been, considered to be a total wanker and by some accounts, maybe even a sniveling twit.

Tina Brown’s The Palace Papers: Inside the House of Windsor — The Truth and the Turmoil, which hits shelves on April 26, spares no member of the royal family. You might think the historical ire would be reserved for Prince Andrew of Stuffieshire, but Harry gets it too. According to Page Six, Brown writes in The Palace Papers that Meghan and Harry Markle have a “mutual addiction to drama” (omg, just like Granny), best illustrated by a scream-crying “dustup” with Kate Middleton over flower girl tights at Meghan and Harry’s wedding. According to one of Brown’s sources, there was “a lot of raging” and “In-person shouting in front of other members of staff, basically in front of too many people, which is why it all started to come out … “

But Harry, apparently, has always been a messy little bitch, with his chav-like behavior starting long before his parasitic union with Meghan. After his mother died in 1997, poor Harry did flopped in school and, according to Brown, “regularly got into fights that turned physical, ending up on crutches after kicking in a window during a dispute with another student over a girl.” He cleaned his act up for a while in the military, but then was back to “acting belligerent, carousing all night” when the battalion boys were no longer near him.

Harry went through lovers like they were bags of crisps, leading to disagreements with his staid brother ​​Prince William over his intentions. He kept taking the girls on trips to Botswana, his special place as highlighted in the Lifetime original biopic “Harry & Meghan: A Royal Romance,” in which the late Princess Diana continuously appeared to her son in the form of a lion.

William wouldn’t have it. “Every time his brother fell in love, it was an eruption of Vesuvius,” Brown writes in The Palace Papers. “‘You do realize this is the fourth girl you’ve taken to Botswana,’ he couldn’t help remarking after Harry’s starry-eyed account of the trip.”

The love of a good Markle isn’t stabilizing Harry either and his relationship with his brother has never been worse, according to a forthcoming book about Prince William called William at 40. In the book, biographer Robert Jobson alleges that William believes Harry to have “lost the plot” in the preparation and aftermath of “Megxit” and their explosive interview with Oprah.

And the evidence keeps mounting. Last week, Harry expressed concern about the company the Queen kept, likely alluding to her fraternization with Andrew in these explosive photos. Many critics thought that was quite rich coming from Harry, considering the backstabbing Oprah interview of it all.

Plus, he nursed one pint of Guinness over the course of three hours last weekend at The Hague, a betrayal to the British people. Poor Harry, and poor us for having to watch this weenie flail in the wind.