The Queen Can't Move but She's Still "In Charge"

The life of a sovereign isn’t all old Hollyroodhouse glamor and admiring the way light refracts off of the gloss of exquisite teapots. Prince Charles, the king-to-be, learned that this morning when he took over one of the more staid responsibilities of the Queen’s this morning, the Opening of Parliament. It’s an event she had to forgo due to “episodic mobility problems,” and one that she hasn’t blown off since she was pregnant with Prince Edward in 1963. According to Buckingham Palace, though, her mind is still sharp as the emerald edge of Queen Mary’s tiara that was gifted to her by the Saudi empire.

Royal historian Robert Lacey told People, "The sense I get from everyone I speak to is that the Queen remains totally in control of her faculties and of everything at the palace. The problem is physical mobility — and that is not a constitutional or regency issue. She is in charge."

Hm. It seems to me that The Firm, in a Franklin D. Roosevelt throwback, doesn’t want the public to see sprightly Lil in a wheelchair. It’s why there’s so much Buckingham balcony hubbub surrounding the Jub (though I’m sure that shithole hasn’t been updated since 1902 when it comes to accommodating ramps and wheelchair-friendly spaces) and possibly why she was hiding in that bush.

Here’s a tip from me to Mee Sparkling Ladyest HRH OBE: We don’t care if you’re in a bloody wheelchair, we just wanna see that contented little face and those legendary gams! When you whipped out your late husband’s stick at that event where you refused to cut a ceremonial piece of cake, the public only adored you more. Keep it rollin’, girlito. Never forget: You ARE in charge.