The Montecito Diaries: Nacho Speaks!

The fabulous Markle twins have a mainstay in Montecito who quietly offers all the tough love of Oprah and all the warmth of that beautiful bitch Mamma Mia. His name is Nacho Figueras, and since 2017, he’s been Harry’s best friend. Now, they’re teammates on their intramural sports league for deadbeat dads, Los Padres.

No, Nacho isn’t a horse. He’s a human hunk. I’m obsessed with him. He’s obsessed with Harry.

The Argentine “David Beckham of polo” spoke to People during the Capri Sun and orange slice halftime break at the Sentebale Polo Cup in Aspen about how fab their last two months have been playing polo together. Nacho, Harry, and their “polo wives” (pwifes) Delfina and Meghan. The bond between the members of this modern-day quaternary marriage is indelible!

"Being able to play with him for two months in a real competition with the Los Padres team was a dream come true for me, and maybe for him too — we'd should ask him," Figueras told People. "We got to spend a lot of time together on the field, off the field with our families. We really bonded more than we've ever bonded before, being able to be with him so much."

Since Harry’s been estranged from his family, especially his older brother William, Nacho’s steady embrace is likely all the more comforting. He also said Harry looks pretty good horsing around. "He's very competitive. He plays very well, he rides very well — it's an honor to be his teammate," Figueras said.

Give the horseboy a podcast!