The Montecito Diaries: Harry and Meghan's Big Week

With all the terrifying stuff that’s going on in the USA, such as Sunny Hostin talking about abortion while on Viewcation in the Bahamas and A24 optioning Malcolm Gladwell’s catalogue of work, it’s easy to believe this is a desolate, waning empire maintained by feeble and lily-livered people who are so terrified of losing their illusory grip of control that they issue decrees from on high that condemn millions of people to suffer in absolute and unconstitutional powerlessness so those on top don’t have to. We will all die from it, if we don’t run out of water first.

But there’s a place on the central coast of California where all is well! It’s Montecito, girlie, and Oprah Winfrey, Tyler Perry, Ellen Degeneres, and the Fabulous Markle Twins live there. So what’s abuzz in this magic little town nestled between the coast and the Santa Ynez Mountains, where the only patriarchal mandate is Prince Harry, captain of renowned rec polo league Los Padres, yelling, “Play ball!” or whatever it is one does with that little mallet.

Well, yesterday, Harry and Meghan were seen pulling up in a military-style convoy to Oprah’s house alongside longtime Markle confidante Janina Gavankar, who you might remember from her bombshell episode of Who? Weekly. According to HELLO!, “The visit sparked reports that the couple are preparing for another interview with TV icon Oprah.” Now that would be an excellent way to make up for some of the lost Netflix funds (and RIP Tudum, of course).

Speaking of, Page Six reports that the duo has hired a “leftie director” named Liz Garbus to call the shots on their new Netflix docuseries (which will not feature a money shot of the Lilibets, despite best efforts). So she’s a tankie? Sort of. According to Page Six, “Garbus is openly political; her Instagram account urges for abortion rights in the wake of the Supreme Court’s reversal of Roe v. Wade and calls Democratic gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams a “brilliant” leader.” Garbus was spotted with Harry and Meghan furtively holding a camera as long ago as last September, when the lovers went to New York City for a sex vacation.

For the time being, Meghan is enjoying her days as a Montecito polo wife, or pwife! (Pronounced pwife). In a sweet Instagram, Delfina Blaquier, fellow Montecito Mom-Boss and pwife to the always-iconic Nacho Figueras, wrote a eulogy for her friend Meghan.

“Getting to spend time together over these 2 months was so special. I wish everyone new [sic] you the way you are. My sister ❤️, my now fellow “pwife” (polo wife) -genius of you to come up with this 😂,” Pwife #2 gushed.

Montecito is perfect!!