The Montecito Diaries: Harry and Meghan Adopt Beautiful Bitch

“Bitch” means female dog, as in the one they just brought home

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle: Karwai Tang/WireImage. Beagle: GPPets/Shutterstock.
Mamma Mia!

The charming hamlet of Montecito may be crawling with symbolically loaded wild animals, Katy Kats, and Gloria Steinem in total vacay mode, but one beagle just big-dogged them all. The fabulous Markle twins just enacted a brilliant PR twirl by adopting one of the 4,000 beagles recently rescued from a breeding facility in Virginia owned by the lab-research animal provider Envigo RMS. And there’s even more good news: The Sussexes’ new 7-year-old beagle’s name is inspired either by motherhood (she has eight pups!) or Meryl Streep’s ghost in a musical sequel — mamma mia, welcome to Montecito, Mamma Mia!

According to the Los Angeles Times, the Duchess herself called Shannon Keith, the operator of the beagle rehoming charity, to adopt Ms. Mamma Mia. But once a supporting player, always a supporting player: Keith apparently didn’t know she was talking to Meghan thee Markle on the phone until the royal-ish glamazon showed up with her husband and two bodyguards to observe the dogs.

Per the LA Times:

“She calls on my cell with no Caller ID and says, ‘Hey Shannon, this is Meghan,’” said Keith, whose nonprofit organization rescues beagles and other dogs as well as cats, pigs, horses, rabbits, goats and sheep, most of which were used in laboratory testing. “We talked for 30 minutes, and I thought, ‘Is this Megan Fox?’”
But it was Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, and her husband, Prince Harry, who made an after-hours visit to the unassuming San Fernando Valley house on Hartsook Street this month.

Meghan apparently explained to Keith that she didn’t want a puppy, she wanted Mamma Mia. “The duchess is holding Mia and was like, ‘We’re adopting her,’” Keith told the LA Times. “She was like ‘No, we don’t want a Christmas puppy … We want ones we can help who are older.’”

A powerful sentiment, made all the more poignant by the Markles’ own human circumstances. No doubt they were inspired by Harry’s grandmother, the Queen, an older creature who has also recently been rehomed and is, against all odds, thriving.