Revolutionary War Redux? Will and Kate’s Boston Invasion Is Flopping

They're the worst thing to happen to America's smallest city since the Dunkin Shamrock Macchiato

BOSTON, MASSACHUSETTS - NOVEMBER 30: (NO UK Sales For 28 Days Post Create Date) Prince William, Prin...
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two if by sea

If the city of Boston is known for one thing besides being a world fashion capital, it’s that its citizens hate the British. Besides the JFK of it all, it makes little sense that Prince William’s first US trip in eight years would be to Boston. He and Kate Middleton are only a day into their three-day trip for the Earthshot Prize ceremony (don’t ask), and already the climate in Beantown is changing: from one of convivial New England heckling to an environment where unconcealed contempt stokes the flames of impolite society. Or whatever.

First, they flew commercial to Logan Airport. But their Week of Flop didn’t stop there.

C-Tier Camelot crony Caroline Kennedy, Ambassador to Australia, was supposed to greet them but was stuck in New York due to rain, according to the Daily Mail. A Kensington Palace spokesman told the Mail that when she finally made it, “she rushed straight to the Celtics game upon arrival, where she greeted the royal couple.” However, no photo evidence of this meeting exists.

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Special Envoy John Kerry was also supposed to hang with them, but he pulled the most ancient excuse in the book: he got “Covid” in Egypt, according to Politico. These stiffs occurred on the same day that William’s godmother, whom his office referred to as a “staffer,” asked racist questions of a Black woman at a Buckingham Palace charity event.

The hits kept coming.

Per Express, a reverend who also happens to be Boston’s Chief of Environment, Energy, and Open Space invited an audience that included the Prince and Princess of Wales to “consider the legacy of colonialism and racism.” At the Celtics game, the pair got booed on the Jumbotron. When a reporter asked Celtics player Jaylen Brown what it was like to play in front of royalty, Daily Mail reported that Brown responded, “It was just a regular game to me.”

Tomorrow’s award ceremony is allegedly “their Super Bowl,” but I’m starting to worry none of the slated presenters, which randomly include Daniel Dae Kim, Rami Malek, Catherine O’Hara, Shailene Woodley, and Sir David Attenborough, are going to show. They don’t need all this drama.