Prince Harry and Michelle Obama to Engage in Combat on the Memoir Battlegrounds

Better choose your side

ORLANDO, FL - MAY 08:  Prince Harry and Michelle Obama cheer during the Opening Ceremony of the Invi...
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book brawls

I have exciting news. Prince Harry’s memoir, for which he received a $20 million advance, has been completed and signed off on by the Penguin Random House legal team. Yes, his days of toiling over his manuscript, begging his editors for just one more week, or two, or four at most, are over. Now the only thing left to do is to open a chilly Pét-nat in celebration of his great achieveme— oh no. Ohhh no. What’s this?

“Will Prince Harry lose to Michelle Obama in a battle of books?,” the Daily Mail asks today. “The Duke's tell-all memoir is facing a potentially embarrassing launch-date clash with the former First Lady's follow-up title.”

A potentially embarrassing launch-date clash?????


It seems that both Prince Harry’s memoir (tentatively titled Prince Harry: What I Have to Say About the Natty Ol’ Jubbly and So On) and Michele Obama’s The Light We Carry, the follow up to her extremely successful memoir Becoming, are both planning on fall release dates. Obama’s book, which is also being published by Penguin Random House, will come out November 15. (The same day as Mike Pence’s memoir Oh No, Mother.) Prince Harry’s does not yet have a release date, but the book will no doubt also be on the fall schedule to gear up for a big Christmas push.

According to the Daily Mail’s sneaky sources, Prince Harry’s memoir may be rushed for an October release to save him from embarrassing bestseller list defeat at the toned arms of Michelle Obama. “I would certainly account for a lot of the uncertainty,” the source said. “Michelle Obama is a phenomenon and her new book is expected to top every bestseller list in the world. She would totally eclipse anything by Harry. It could potentially be quite difficult timing.”

Oh, deary me. This seems potentially quite difficult indeed.

Autumn is coming up mighty fast, so I think it’s about time you choose your side in the upcoming memoir wars. Are you Team Harry or are you Team Michelle? And why? Scream it into your pillow and pray the publishing gods shine brightly upon you. And if I may, I’d like to offer a tip to Prince Harry. Prince Harry, if you’re worried about your placement on various bestseller lists (as it seems you should be) maybe you can ask Tyler Perry to buy copies in bulk. You’ll have a dagger, like Stassi, but that’s war for you, right? Ha-ha. Anyway, good luck!