Prince Harry Falls Off Horse and Straight Into David Foster's Arms

Prince Harry, Netflix’s flailing son, fell off a polo horse in front of his “celebrity friends” over the weekend while competing with his horsey rec league with which he overly identifies, and took a tumble right into the aching arms of his “father figure” and music mogul David Foster.

As you may remember, Foster helped the Sussexes find a home in Canada in the wake of their rift with Harry’s actual father, Prince Charles, and their Megxit from England. Foster’s wife, American Idol loser Katharine McPhee, happens to be an old school chum of Meghan’s (as well as a self-styled gay icon). She told Access Hollywood in 2020, “'My husband has a really, really beautiful relationship with Harry. They're so cute. They're like father and son.'”

You also might remember David Foster, aka “my love,” as the ex-husband of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills’ Yoland Hadid Foster and stepdad to fucked up models Gigi and Bella Hadid. Or you might remember him as the father of Erin and Sarah Foster, who had a true-to-life sitcom based around their daddy issues called Barely Famous on VH1. Or maybe you remember him as former stepdad to The Hills’ Brody Jenner, another sad reality case, when Foster was married to Jenner’s mother Linda Thompson, who previously dated Elvis. My, the tangled webs we weave.

Besides being a Canadian musical savant, Foster is better known as a distant caregiver and a notorious cad. He’s a bit like Harry’s estranged father Prince Charles in that way. Freudian patterns run deep, as do inner-brain contusions from falling off horses.

Learn from Yolanda’s mistakes: Foster’s not going to help you heal from chronic lyme, baby, or fill the hole your distant father left in your soul. He’s going to leave you high and dry in an efficiency apartment, mouth emptied of its precious silver fillings, with only Erika Jayne to talk to — a fate worse than the injury itself. Harry: wear a helmet.