Prince Andrew Spent Two Days Jerking It in 1993

Tina Brown is spilling the Twinings Earl Grey, honey, or whatever it is that British people do while engaging in a gossip sesh over boiled goose and steamed lard desserts. Her forthcoming book on the British royal family, The Palace Papers: Inside the House of Windsor — The Truth and the Turmoil, alleges that Prince Andrew, Epstein’s overweened and useful idiot, once spent two full days in a hotel room watching porn in 1993.

I’m sure he’s dedicated a lot more man hours than that to his favorite pursuit, but this incident was notable as it took place at an ambassador’s house. Lee Annenberg, the wife of former U.S. Ambassador Walter Annenberg, invited Andrew to the couple’s Palm Springs property a year after he split from Sarah Ferguson, the Duchess of York. The Annenberg property, called Sunnylands, functioned as a secure desert vacation spot for politicians and dignitaries until becoming a formal retreat center in 2001, so safe to say it's seen its fair share of freaks. But Andrew stood out.

“According to [Brown,] Andrew was like a sex-obsessed teenager and left Lee disgusted following his solo visit that saw him 'holed up in his bedroom for two days',” the Daily Mail reports.

Brown also wrote, “The Duke was always as oversexed as a boob-ogling adolescent.”

While jerking it to an alarming degree is a time-honored tradition for freshly divorced men, it would’ve been nice if he’d showed up for tea when the hosts asked. That’s just good manners.