Meghan Markle Pi$$ed Over Nixed Lilibet Photo-Op

Life's "unfair"

CAPE TOWN, SOUTH AFRICA - SEPTEMBER 25: Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex, Meghan, Duchess of Sussex and ...
Pool/Samir Hussein/WireImage/Getty Images

Once at Brandy Melville, that bra-less libertarian bastion of self expression for girls with thin lank hair, I got a red cropped baby tee that remarkably had a Jenny Holzer truism on it: RAISE BOYS AND GIRLS THE SAME WAY. I have no idea if Brandy and Jenny had a licensing deal or if this was a copyright violation — it’s none of my business, and it’s not the point of this anecdote. I’m just wondering aloud if perhaps Meghan Markle saw this tee, no matter if she was unaware of its provenance, and weaponized its message against her grandmother-in-law Lilibet Senior.

To catch you up: Despite putting their pride on ice and taking Spirit Airlines from Montecito to Londontown to celebrate the Queen’s Jubbly blowout, Meghan and Harry were not able to secure a photo of Big Mama with her youngest granddaughter, resulting in disastrous spiritual and professional consequences for the two aspiring streaming television showrunners. And Meghan is reportedly calling sexism on the whole affair, even if I do agree with the royals on this one: Lili is a lil' cash cow, and the Sussexes would’ve immediately sold the photo to People magazine in order to finance their custom podcasting stu.

In the wake of the moneyshot that never was, the former Advocate at the United Nations Entity for Gender Equality is allegedly saying it’s unfair that her son Archie got a picture with his great-gran the Queen and her daughter Lilibet Junior didn’t. Meghan notionally stands up for gender equity at least once a month, and this is no exception.

According to a Daily Star interview with royal commentator Neil Sean, “​​[Harry and Meghan] feel, according to very good sources, allegedly, that it’s unfair that they did not get the opportunity to present their daughter to the world with the monarch as they did with their son Archie.”

Sounds legit, allegedly. Yeah, a photo of the two Lilibets would’ve fetched a trillion quid, but all children are fundamentally owed pictures with the Queen of England (and other celebrities, if the timing’s right) regardless of their gender expression, and that’s actually what egalitarian feminism is all about — I would know, due to my aforementioned baby tee, though I’m not sure where it is right now, and now that I think about it, my (male) dog did barf on it once.

Sorry for all the discord, lil Lil, and it’s such a bummer how early you’re learning just how unfair life can be for an almost-princess.