Meghan and Harry Denied Money Shot of Lilibets

No chance in fuckall hell, Royal courtiers said

THE HAGUE, NETHERLANDS - APRIL 17: Prince Harry, Duke of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess of Sussex attend...
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ya right

The day after the Fabulous Markle Twins returned home to California following their icy reception at the Jubbly, the duo released a photo of Lilibet Jr. Breaking news: She’s an absolute doll!

Up to this point, we had only seen this stunning image of the mini Markle, courtesy of Page Six last August:

Page Six

Even early on, it was clear she had her mother’s easy glamor and her father’s shock of red hair, as we saw yesterday in the snap from Frogmore Cottage shared by Sussex photographer and friend Misan Harriman.

But, if you believe the cynics over at the Daily Beast, the latest Lilibet Jr. reveal is not just a proud parenting moment, but a strategically timed scramble meant to make up for the one thing that the podcast impresarios want but can’t have: great-grand-mum’s grace. H&M reportedly wanted a picture of the Queen and Lilibet on the little ‘un’s first birthday, and the big ‘un apparently did not make mincemeat pie of her words.

“The queen’s enforcers reportedly told Harry and Meghan ‘no chance’ when the couple asked for a photograph of the Monarch meeting their child Lilibet for the first time,” the Beast reported. Her courtiers and footmen were said to be concerned that the photo of the two, which would’ve looked like the following image had the duo their druthers, would end up on television in the States:

Collage by Jack Koloskus, Photos by Samir Hussein/WireImage/Getty Images//Misan Harriman

Oh how Meghan and Harry likely pleaded with Lilibet Sr. so as to repair their fractious relationship and/or get a successful children’s series greenlit based on the photo (those dreams apparently dashed when they named Lilibet Jr. as such without first asking for permission). Getting this photo was possibly the whole reason they even went to the Jubbly. This photo was supposed to be their version of a revenge body, or their version of a successful transition of power from colony to commonwealth nation, or their version of being upgraded from a supporting cast member to series lead on a long-running USA Network procedural.

“But they were told no chance. It was a private family meeting,” the Beast reported. I guess there’s always the next opportunity: the Queen’s funeral.