Meghan and Harry Will Attend Jubbly Even Without Balcony Privileges

This has been nonstop drama

Britain's Queen Elizabeth II waves from the balcony of Council House in Nottingham, central England,...
trooping the colour

Yesterday, the Daily Mail reported that Harry and Meghan Markle-Sussex would not be able to juggle the Jubbly with Harry’s demanding intramural polo schedule. To summarize: The Markles’ hemming and hawing over the decision to return to England amid security concerns was a strategic move to get more press, and if they went they would not be allowed to stand on the royal balcony at Buckingham (and would instead be relegated to slumming it in the crowd with Prince Andrew, who once jerked it for two days straight in 1993).

But so much can happen with these Jubbly-consumed lunatics in a single day, not even to mention the Lin-Manuel Miranda of it all. First, likely off the strength of hard-hitting Gawker reportage, Buckingham Palace officially confirmed that only the working members of the royal family would be allowed on this balcony.

According to TMZ, the Palace said, “After careful consideration, the Queen has decided this year's traditional Trooping the Colour balcony appearance on Thursday, 2 June, will be limited to Her Majesty, and those members of the royal family who are currently undertaking official public duties on behalf of the Queen."

So that’s that. Only working members of the family. I’m a little confused, because the Queen herself likely won’t be able to Troop the Colour from the balcony either due to mobility issues, and I’d say Harry and Meghan are “working” it every day of their damn lives, title or no title, in the press, on the polo field, and eventually in the podcasting stu one day soon I’m sure.

But wait, there’s more. Insider is now reporting that Harry is saying “Sod off!” to his Los Padres polo teammates, including his best friend Nacho Figuera, and will, allegedly, be taking Meghan, Archie, and Lilibet Jr. to the Jubbly.

“Prince Harry and Meghan, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are excited and honoured to attend The Queen's Platinum Jubilee celebrations this June with their children,” an Archewell spokesperson said (in my opinion Meghan and Harry should not be allowed to use “ou” British spellings in missives sent from their HQ in Montecito).

The already impossibly high stakes have been raised. With Harry in town, I’m expecting fireworks, even if they startle the Queen.