Meghan and Harry Circling Back Re: Causes

The Fabulous Markle Twins will leave the comforting, rock-hard bosom of Montecito for Germany and England in September for a “poignant reason,” according to People. That impetus is “causes,” and the general overall concept of them. Causes are good, on the whole, and Meghan and Harry bleed for them every day. More specifically, the duo are major fans of the notion of women and passionate about the occasion of giving a speech.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex "are delighted to visit with several charities close to their hearts in early September," a spokesperson told People. Their trip will include a stop in Manchester for the One Young World Summit on September 5 (a cause Meghan has championed since her civilian days), then on to Germany for an Invictus Games event called "One Year to Go" on September 6, and then the Well Child Awards, a night which celebrates some of the coolest kids in Britain, in London on September 8. The Well Child Awards doles out prizes in categories like “Inspirational Child 4-6 Years Old,” which seems like a lot of pressure for a recipient who, statistically speaking, might not be able to read yet. (Harry will feel right at home. Oh relax, I’m joking!)

And will the Queen, a rabid though outwardly prim advocate of whatever is on the official royal engagement schedule (for those keeping track, the Princess Royal Anne will be visiting the Lakes Distillery in Cockermouth on September 8 and then the International Sheep Dog Trial on September 10) be there to join the prodigal profligates? Nah, she’ll be on her eight-week summer vacay in a bog, though she plans to visit London briefly to meet with the new Prime Minister, who is yet another nebulous, swirling question mark where a pillar of English strength is meant to be. Much like Meghan and Harry’s causes. Bon voyage to all!