The Lilibets Met

Neither can live while the other survives

WINDSOR, ENGLAND - MAY 13: Queen Elizabeth II attends The Royal Windsor Horse Show at Home Park on M...
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that's my evil twin

L is for the way you look at great-granny

I is for the only I that I see: myself in you

L is for Lilibet Jr. and also for Lilibet Sr.

I is for “I love you, great-nan”

B is for British, baby, bits ‘n’ bobs

E is for even more than anyone that I adore, even Prince Edward, Duke of Kent, my cousin and new boyfriend

T is for Tesco

That’s a song for the supreme jubbliarchy of all occasions, and the ultimate reason why my great-great-great-grandpop (I wanna say his name was… idk… John?) got on whatever the equivalent of the Mayflower was at the time and sailed the ocean blue to start a new life in America: world peace between continents, which has now finally been achieved.

That’s right, the Queen of England met her final boss yesterday, a half-American baby named after her private childhood nickname, per a BREAKING Metro story. Lilibet now knows Lilibet, but it’s hard to say who met whom, really, whether one Lilibet took on an active role while the other Lilibet sat there passively. Did Lilibet Sr. take command of the state apartments at Windsor by ordering her tiny subject, “Do sit!”? Or did the Lil’est Lil do a hostile takeover of Queen Mary’s dollhouse and force her elder to squeeze into a smaller chair than her own as some perverse power play?

We’ll never know. The fateful meeting took place behind closed doors. What we do know is that Lilibet turns one tomorrow, which is an absolutely savage psychological move to pull off during the Queen’s Jubbly.