Kate Middleton Is Seven Down To Clown, If You Know What I Mean

Prince Charles and Duchess Kate are on a tour of Scotland, and I’m ONE DOWN bad chica for these TWO Cambridges making their way ACROSS Caledonia. That’s a bit of crossword humor that will all make sense soon, my dear boy.

It’s been suggested by Celebitchy that this gruesome twosome have been sent on an impromptu two-week working trip by the Queen as part of a tit-for-tat operation for obliging their request to ban Harry and Meghan from the Jubbly balcony, but I think it’s good for their image. Their calculated “I am crazy…but I am free…” rebrand got all bodged up on their Caribbean tour of discontent, so now Kate’s pivoting to intellectual.

According to the Daily Mail, Kate helped Glasgow student Jack Baird solve for a crossword clue he couldn’t get, despite him being “known to take the puzzles to nightclubs.” Seven down asked about “the sovereign’s annual allowance.” Two words of five and four letters. I’m somewhat of a crossword freak myself, who would be known to puzzle at nightclubs if anyone would simply invite me to one. I had some hints to help the forlorn Scotsman.

“The sovereign’s annual allowance….two words of five and letters,” I mumbled to myself, pencil behind one ear and lit sparkler behind another, just in case I got invited to a nightclub. “What does the Queen subsist on every year?”

I guessed:

UNLTD STIK

Not quite…

ROYAL PUDD

No…

ETRNL LIFE

Well…

PORCHY KISS

Hmm…

DUCHY BAGS

Very close…But no. I gave up. Kate got it.

Said the student, “'She was very excited. It didn’t look like she was going to get it for a moment. I’m really chuffed. I'm going to frame it. She looked thrilled. I think she thought, "I wouldn’t live this down if I get this wrong".'”

It was

CIVIL LIST.

Your turn, Meghan. Or are you too busy playing Stratego?