Meet Gary, Babykins, and Big Willy Mountbatten-Windsor

The royals' nicknames for each other are almost as good as "Prince of Pegging"

LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM - JUNE 02: (EMBARGOED FOR PUBLICATION IN UK NEWSPAPERS UNTIL 24 HOURS AFTER C...
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princess of negging
Royals

The world keeps turning as the Firm rebrands Kate Middleton from dumpy, frumpy Norfolk mum to liberated nucking fut with a camera phone, and the British press is there to cover it. The Mirror offers a revoltingly hot and sexy three-year-old scoop lifted from the Sun this week: Kate reportedly refers to her husband, the Duke of Cambridge, as “Big Willy.” As in a humongo trouser snake. A robust tallywacker. A firm knob.

No doubt reports of this cheeky cognomen are resurfacing as part of the palace’s attempts to spin a haunting portrait (are their eyes moving?) of a couple in love in the wake of William’s extramarital pegging reports. They’re in love! They’re cheeky! And apparently, she also calls him other names, according to a florist who claims to have witnessed the following lewd exchange in 2016:

At The Chelsea Flower Show in 2016, the royal couple were heard calling each other “babe” and “darling."

Whoaher.

Apparently, though, the royal family has always been a lil silly. According to the Mirror, The Queen has been known as everything from “Gary” to “Cabbage,” while Duke of Edinburgh was reportedly referred to as “Stavros” because of his Greek heritage. And that’s just the beginning:​​ Prince William is also said to have used the terms “Babykins” and “DoD,” which stands for “Duchess of Dolittle.”

I love this. I’m going to start calling Little Prince G “Little Big Willy” and Lilibet Jr. “Little Gary.”