Harry's Game of Polo Makes the Platinum Jubbly a No-Go

His refusal to RSVP is a mind game, according to the Daily Mail

Britain's Prince Harry (R) plays for the Sentebale polo team against the St. Regis team during the S...
more balcony drama

The Daily Mail is flaming-hot pissed at Harry for signing up for a FULL polo season in Santa Barbara, as per the headline “Royal experts say Prince Harry and Meghan's 'deliberate indecision' over Queen's Jubilee is 'damaging' the monarchy - after Duke signed up for FULL polo season that clashes with Bank Holiday weekend.”

Crivvens, I haven’t seen the Mail whinging like this since the Queen’s recent Maundy cancellation. Royal expert Tom Bower told the website that he believes Harry has no intention of skipping the match and flying overseas, but he’s jubbling around with the Queen’s heart by refusing to definitively RSVP to the big bank holiday celebration on purpose.

“They encourage the uncertainty because their status and income depends on constant mention in the media. They are addicted to preening their self-importance. Unfortunately the damage their deliberate public 'indecision' is causing to the monarchy is impossible to prevent. It's all part of their financial strategy,” Bower said.

The Markles should stay in Montecito. I see no advantages in attending. If they went, the duo wouldn’t even be allowed to stand on the special balcony at Buckingham (though I suppose neither could the Queen). What are they gonna do, stand in the crowd and try to find polite conversational common ground with fellow former title-holder Prince Andrew, whose only memory of their adopted California homeland is the time he spent there jerking it for 2 days straight in 1993?

As I see it, Harry should continue his life as an unemployed 37-year-old private citizen, content creator, and father who takes his intramural sports league named Los Padres extremely seriously, alongside his best chap and teammate Nacho Figuera, the “David Beckham of polo.” They’ve got all sorts of balconies they can look up at in California if they’re longing for a similar experience. I’ve seen Selling Sunset.