Harry, Meghan, and Lilibet Jr. Only Got 15 Minutes With Slammed Grandmum

But if she used them correctly, that's all the time she needed

UNSPECIFIED LOCATION - MAY: Queen Elizabeth II works at her desk on the Royal Train in May of 2002.(...
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time management

Another day, another Jub snub the Queen enacted against the baby bearing her name: When Harry, Meghan, and Lilibet Jr. met Old Nanny Monarch last week during the Jubbly, they were only allowed 15 minutes of her time.

According to the Sun, a Palace source said, “It was a quick in and out job. It was all quite formal.”

First, the Queen offered “no chance” of a picture, and now we’re learning they weren’t even together long enough to watch an episode of Ted Lasso. Or, if Lil Jr. had her way, maybe it would’ve been a rerun of Caillou, though I would wager Meghan is a “no screen time for baby” sort of Mummy.

This, of course, doesn’t preclude the possibility that the Fabulous Markle Baby wasn’t able to execute her intended goals, whatever they were, with the Head of State. If Lili planned ahead, 15 minutes would be enough time to reconcile and institute a puppet government in her name. In fact, I’ve had my own agenda if I were ever offered a quarter of an hour with Her Maj planned and exacted for years now:

Minute 1: Curtsying

Minutes 2-10: Kissing the corgis on the mouth

Minute 11: Asking after Prince Philip’s deceased sisters, who all married Nazi princes, and his contact with them during World War II, while winking in an accusatory way

Minute 12: Informing one of her footmen that I could use some Coffee Mate Rice Krispies Treats® Liquid Coffee Creamer with the weak pot of tea served to me, if it wouldn’t be too much trouble

Minute 13: Snapping a silly selfie

Minute 14: Admiring on the wallpaper aloud

Minute 15: Commencing the political stunt I intended to do in there: whipping off my sports bra and burning it on a votive candle, but accidentally extinguishing the small flame before any sort of feminism took place, and then being escorted out in cuffs.

Knowing the little girl and her parents, she probably could’ve gotten it done in 10.