Netflix Has Games? (No One Plays Them)

Another slay for the streaming giant

my gaming chair

Buckle up, my gamer friend. While you were “AFK,” a new gal entered the scene — and please don’t “ragequit,” but she’s absolutely primed to “pwn” the competition. She’s Netflix … and she has games (apparently). FTW!

Yes, it seems streaming service Netflix continues to dominate in terms of not understanding why people use Netflix or how they use Netflix or what they want Netflix to provide. According to a Financial Times report, Netflix apparently has games. They’ve apparently had games for some time, too, launching Netflix Games (sure) in late 2021 with a plan to offer 50 games by the end of 2022. The games are on your phone, and are included in your Netflix subscription, but please don’t rush away to play them just yet — you still have the rest of this article to read.

Sadly for the games, no one cares about them or wants them or knows that they even exist. Aw. According to something called Apptopia, which the Daily Mail calls an “app tracker,” Netflix's games only get about 1.7 million users per day, a number that makes up less than one percent of its subscribers. And that’s relatively good, actually, for the games; numbers were even worse before Netflix put out a series of Stranger Things-themed games in May.

In case you’re curious, here’s a list (via Netflix) of the available titles so far. And ohhh buddy my gaming mouth is a’waterin’ just’a lookin’ at ‘em:

  • Arcanium: Rise of Akhan
  • Asphalt Xtreme
  • Before Your Eyes
  • Bowling Ballers
  • Card Blast
  • Dominoes Café
  • Dungeon Dwarves
  • Dragon Up
  • Exploding Kittens
  • Hextech Mayhem: A League of Legends Story
  • Into the Breach
  • Into the Dead 2: Unleashed
  • Knittens
  • Krispee Street
  • Mahjong Solitaire
  • Moonlighter
  • Poinpy
  • Relic Hunters: Rebels
  • Shatter Remastered
  • Shooting Hoops
  • Stranger Things: 1984
  • Stranger Things 3: The Game
  • Teeter (Up)
  • This Is a True Story
  • Townsmen - A Kingdom Rebuilt
  • Wonderputt Forever

Cool. They all sound really good. Don’t tell my boss, but I think I’ll be taking the rest of my meetings today in the magical worlds of “Shooting Hoops,” “Asphalt Xtreme,” and “Poinpy.” Hell yeah, baby. Take us out, Lana.