The White House Christmas Theme Is a Bit On the Nose This Year

(Rudolph's nose.)

WASHINGTON, DC - NOVEMBER 29:  An ornament of a portrait of U.S. President Joe Biden and first lady ...
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the most wonderful state announcement of the year

Well, it’s Christmas now. Your grumpier friends have already started talking about how they can’t wait for this month to be over. Your quirkier friends have been annoying about how much they love Christmas for weeks. And the rest of us? Well, until this morning we were just impatiently waiting for Jill Biden to announce the White House’s Christmas decoration theme. And now our dream has come true.

FINALLY!

First, though, I have some bad news. Once again America’s first decoratress did not choose “Christmas at Pee Wee's Playhouse” for the White House theme. I know it’s disappointing. It’s almost as if vision boards don’t work, though I know that isn’t true. On a positive note, if we ever become America’s Main Girl the theme is still up for grabs. This can still be our legacy. Billy Baloney in the White House. Chairy in the White House. Floory in the White House. Charo.

Not this year, though. This year the theme is: “Gifts from the Heart.” Fine. Intrigued? Me neither, but here — let me show you photos of it via The Hill’s Alex Gangitano and also Getty.

Okay so I guess each of the rooms is a different American gift. According to Gangitano, the gifts are: “faith, family, and friendship, a love of the arts, learning, and nature, gratitude, service, and community, and unity and peace.” They forgot luxury candles, but I understand that they have a lot on their plates at the White House. This theme, in the Vermeil Room, is “gift of the arts.” You can tell because of the paintbrushes, color pencils, and color swatches. A little obvious. Let’s see what else.

ANDREW CABALLERO-REYNOLDS/AFP/Getty Images

This one is “gifts of learning,” because it’s the library. What’s next, gifts of cooking because it’s the kitchen? Ha-ha-ha. Gifts of streaming because it’s a TV?? No, what’s next is “gifts of nature,” because it’s flowers:

All right. Next is in the East Room and it’s “gifts of gratitude,” because it’s — can you guess? — thank you cards.

ANDREW CABALLERO-REYNOLDS/AFP/Getty Images

I know we’re all happy that the theme isn’t “death to American citizens and the imminent rise of Satan” like it was for the past four years, but I do feel like a little more time could have been spent devising more interesting interpretations of these themes. What else do we have.

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This one is “peace and unity” because the tree has all the states. Okay. I feel like neither of us care about this anymore, do we? Let me try to find one more good one. Hmmmm.

ANDREW CABALLERO-REYNOLDS/AFP/Getty Images

Okay. This one is “gift of performing arts” because the tree has music notes on it. All right. I refuse to put more effort into showcasing these themes in a blog post than the White House put into designing them. Here’s Charo: