Flex of the Year: Meghan O’Toole King Edmonds Owens’s Two-Month Marriage

I’ve seen some of Meghan King’s (nee O’Toole, nee Edmonds, nee Owens) best work: the former Real Housewives of Orange County star once exposed Vicki Gunvalson’s Real Houseboyfriend Brooks “Girth Brooks” Ayres on-air cancer grift while wearing an 8 lb. headband and over-articulating her Gs. I knew she was capable and confident, cunning enough to get Joe Biden to attend her wedding to presidential nephew Cuffe Biden Owens in October.

But the divorce — announced last week — after two months? I didn’t see this one coming. I was convinced she’d stay married to Owens long enough to get Biden’s audience with an old timey ear trumpet and garner some influence in the midterm elections. I was sure that she’d spend some time with the family in Delaware, charm Joe with her long, lithe figure and figure out a way to get herself on a Buttigieg/King ticket in 2024. In the meantime, she could function in an Ivanka Trump-like advisor role, or maybe just take over at the FBI.

But the marriage only lasted two months, and so I must conclude that King, who met Owens’ family after just one week of dating, accomplished her goals within thePresident’s inner circle in just two months, far ahead of schedule. It’s done. This is the biggest flex of 2021, far more substantial than Omicron’s under-the-wire entree or Joan Didion’s death mere days after Eve Babitz’s.

The President, meanwhile, has retreated with his replacement dog to Rehoboth Beach for the holidays while COVID testing lines wrap around city blocks for the rest of us. Many left-leaning Americans mark this past year of the Biden administration as their radicalization from the Democratic party. But I’m not worried: Biden is a temporary despot, but Meghan (even after three last name changes) always remains a King.