Fans Unhappy With Supreme Court Reboot

No one is notorious, and not even a single judge is bae

UNITED STATES - SEPTEMBER 23: Storm clouds hang over the U.S. Supreme Court building in Washington o...
Bill Clark/CQ-Roll Call, Inc./Getty Images
gavel sound

Sad: According to a Gallup poll, only 40 percent of Americans approve of the Supreme Court, a new low.

The Washington Post summarized the situation as such: “The Supreme Court’s approval rating is plummeting, its critics are more caustic, and justices are feeling compelled to plead the case to the public that they are judicial philosophers, not politicians in robes.”

This is a dark day for the members of the court, who include Brett Kavanaugh, a Maryland dad who mentioned that he loved beers 30 times at a hearing in 2018 surrounding his sexual assault allegations, Neil Gorsuch, whose extended family owns an extravagant chain of ski-town stores that sell items like this, and Amy Coney Barrett, who is “affectionately” called “Judge Dogma” because of her addiction to Catholicism.

The Supreme Court was once a respected, non-partisan institution. Now it’s made up of two alleged sexual abusers, a tradwife from Indiana, two of those hitch-hiking ghosts at Disney World’s Haunted Mansion, a recreational dove hunter, and a boss who made her underlings see Harry Potter with her after work hours. Am I missing anyone? Oh, Elena Kagan and some rando from Buffalo.

In the best-case scenario, to be an admired Supreme Court justice in the modern day means that you are a fitfluencer who gets a eulogy from Jimmy Fallon. Unfortunately, it also means you are dead.

The judicial philosophers kick off their intimate new reading series sure to raise provocative hypotheticals October 4.