Aw, Bill de Blasio Thinks He's Going to Be Governor

The thin air up there must be affecting his mayor brain.

NEW YORK, UNITED STATES - 2021/09/27: Mayor Bill de Blasio speaks during press availability after he...
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just mayor things

I’m trying to think of a good job for Bill de Blasio. I guess — you know when you go to the apple orchard, or the pumpkin patch, and someone at the entrance tells you where to park, because it’s busy? I think he would be really good at that. He’d be tall enough that everybody could see him above the hay bales. And he’d get to interact with people all day, which I assume he likes. And he’d get to wear a baseball cap. It would be seasonal, which might be difficult financially, but it would be peaceful. I think that would be nice for him. He doesn’t want to do that job, though. According to the New York Times, he wants to do the job: “governor of New York.”

Yes, according to the Times, de Blasio — who, as of a June NY1 poll, has a 37 percent approval rating — has begun to tell people that he plans to run for governor of New York next year. The only issue, one he ran into during his unfortunate presidential run, is he sucks and nobody likes him. “Osama bin Laden is probably more popular in Suffolk County than Bill de Blasio,” Rich Schaffer, the chairman of Suffolk County’s Democratic committee, told the Times. “De Blasio, I would say, would have zero support if not negative out here.”

After flirting with the idea of a gubernatorial run in front of the press last week, De Blasio was asked if New York needs “another white male governor.” “I think as with all things, we need people who are committed to real change,” he said. “And we need people of all backgrounds to be involved in government.” Indeed, it takes all kinds; but mostly it takes one kind, and ideally an unpopular version of that kind.

Well. Think about what I said about the parking job, de Blasio. I really think it would be nice for you.