Where Did Your Boyfriend Even Get $1.5 Million?

It's-a me, your friend, with a difficult but necessary conversation.

Gothenburg, Sweden - April 30, 2011: A shot of the very popular game Super Mario 64 inserted in a vi...
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oh god babe

Babe, you need to talk to your boyfriend. I know it’s none of my business, and that what happens behind closed doors in a relationship should stay between those who are in the relationship. But the fact is that this is not behind closed doors; it’s international news. Your boyfriend should not be spending a record $1.5 million at auction on some old “Super Mario 64” cartridge, even if the cartridge was given a 9.8 A++ rating by the video game collectable firm Wata, which according to the BBC means “it is both in near-perfect condition and its seal is intact and ‘like new.’”

There are times when love means accepting and celebrating your partner’s interests, even if you don’t share them, like with camping and the television show Justified. But what is he gonna do with that cartridge? Look at it? Post about it on the dark web, or some shit? What good is that going to do, honey? No good at all. And I don’t think I need to remind you that in the same auction a copy of “Super Mario 64” with a 9.6 A++ rating sold for a mere $13,200 ...

Sweetie, you guys could have purchased a home for $1.5 million. A really nice one. I just saw that Candiace from The Real Housewives of Potomac finally moved out of her mom’s townhouse and into a huge house of her own — 10,500-square-foot, six bedrooms, seven bathrooms — and do you know what that house cost? $1.1 million. You could have bought Candiace’s house and then had some money left over.

Listen, hon, this is the last time you’ll hear about it from me. I just couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t say something. I really hope you talk to your boyfriend about this. If you guys are going to have a future together, an old video game is just not what he should be spending your nest egg on. $1.5 million is fifteen thousand Cire Trudon candles, after all.