New Royal Monogram Ideas for Prince Andrew

Not all’s lost

Sarah Hagi and Jack Koloskus
Pedo in the wind

In response to the civil suit faced by Prince Andrew over Virginia Giuffre’s sexual assault allegations, the Queen has revoked his military titles and royal patronages.

What does this mean for Her Majesty’s favorite son? According to the BBC, he will likely retreat from public life as his royal roles and titles will go to “other members of the family.” Presumably, it also means his somewhat shitty and boring royal monogram, which we could have made on Microsoft Word, will be gone forever too:

Well, do not despair, Andy (his new private-citizen name). Not all is lost. We have some great ideas for a new monogram. Read on.


Starting off simple: It seems like a pain to get everything re-monogrammed, so why not just apply an X to the existing monogram?

Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

He might not be HRH anymore, but he’s still Andrew.

Maybe really lean in to the empty space — Andrew might not be a royal anymore, but there are so many possibilities for what he can be.


The royals famously love hunting. And even though they will no longer publicly associate with Andy, they cannot take hunting away from him. This will also ingratiate him with the NRA (see next monogram idea).

You know what would really piss Mummy off? If Andy went fully and openly right-wing and started an Infowars-esque series where he confirms all of our favorite conspiracy theories. Please Andy, tell us who is a lizard.

When Andy had a bit more responsibility and was a special representative for U.K. trade and investment, he had to resign in 2011 partly because, according to Al Jazeera, he “helped facilitate arms deals between British companies and governments that frequently violate human rights.” In order to avoid another scandal, this monogram is in code.

Good luck, Andrew!