Josh and Erin Hawley Try Opening Their Marriage

To listeners of their new podcast

SPRINGFIELD, MO - NOVEMBER 06: Senator-Elect Josh Hawley, along with his wife, Erin Hawley, smile at...
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Pod and Country

There are only two legitimate reasons to start a podcast: either you’re a Real Housewife who has recently been let go from the NBC Universal family or you’re trying to save your marriage. Missouri Sen. Josh Hawley, a guy who looks like if Ryan Reynolds’ mom and Joel Osteen’s dad had a baby who grew up to be a failed writer type who loves to fist pump, and his wife Erin Hawley, who doesn’t seem like Bravolebrity material to me but could probably have been on an early season of The Bachelor, are the latest example of the latter.

The Hobby Lobby version of Dax Shepard and Kristen Bell announced their podcast This Is Living with a teaser trailer filled with medium-depressing stock images of Midwestern rivers and a series of family portraits containing at least nine different gingham prints among five members of the Hawley Family.

The trailer, presumably made with the free version of a Trump-approved alternative to iMovie, asks the question: Have these two people ever had a conversation with one another?

Josh asks, “We all the time, day to day, we face those choices, okay today, what’s going to be my priority, today, what am I gonna go after, how am I gonna handle the business and competing demands?”

Erin replies, “Jesus tells his followers that those who come to him will have life and life abundantly, or life to the full. So that’s the idea that we’re after.”

I’m not seeing the thread here, but I’m not married, nor a woman of faith, nor do I own that many button-up shirts, so I’m sure I’m missing something.

Almost a year ago, in the aftermath of the Capitol riot on January 6 that her husband proudly cheered on, Erin was terrorized by violent pussy hat-wearing extremists protesting at her front door while she hid inside with her seven-week-old daughter. Now, she won’t have to wait for a Fox News invite to gab into a mic about how that experience made her marriage even stronger.

You know what keeps me comforted on nights I can’t sleep, with or without protestors at my manse? No, not the love of a good man. A podcast with a sixty minute sleep timer positioned on the pillow four inches from my ear.