Facebook Breakup Sheryl Sandberg's Fault, Woman-Hating NYT Implies

Mark Zuckerberg remains cool, normal

Facebook's Chief Operating Officer Sheryl Sandberg speaks during a press conference in London to ann...
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Leaned In, Fell Over

Have you heard? Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg and CEO Mark Zuckerberg broke up over the pandemic after 13 years together. This is nobody’s fault; sometimes, these things just run their course, and we’ve all lived through a lot this year. Their company, the most powerful engine of propaganda, misinformation, and tank top ads ever created, apparently played a role in facilitating the storming of the U.S. Capitol on January 6. But the abetting of domestic terrorism is small potatoes in the grand scheme of life, love, and working relationships. May we all emerge from our breakups with better knowledge of ourselves and a better knowledge of the Capitol building’s blueprint.

To be clear, the two still have a professional working relationship. They just don’t love each other anymore. Sounds like me and my bitch wife…

Predictably, the New York Times is placing the blame on the woman’s witchy ways. Writers Sheera Frankel and Cecilia Kang said that in an interview at her home this week, Sandberg downplayed Facebook’s involvement in the storming of the Capitol.

Homewrecker, The House wrecker, same thing.

“Those within Ms. Sandberg’s inner circle told her what she wanted to hear: Her words were being taken out of context, journalists were unfairly piling on, it wasn’t her fault,” says The New York Times.

Women do be telling other women what they want to hear.

The writers also assert that two of Sandberg’s primary responsibilities in March 2018 were to help with Facebook’s public image after the Cambridge Analytica scandal and to “charm” Washington insiders on Facebook’s behalf.

“Neither project was going particularly well,” says the New York Times.

Traditional women’s work is always undervalued, especially at a company valued at a trillion dollars. Meanwhile, Zuckerberg is painted as dutiful, frugal, and willing to make tough decisions. Also, for what it’s worth, they sort of tried to make Zuckerberg look hot in this illustration.

He is looking hotter than ever in real life, though, as it always seems to go with guys who are searching for a new work wife.