Do Not Throw a Citi Bike in Front of the Subway

Consider this a warning.

NEW YORK, NY - AUGUST 2: An F train waits to pull out of the Smith - 9th Street station in Brooklyn ...
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New York is a city of opportunity. You can have a hot dog, or nuts. You can see your name in Broadway lights. You can get to Carnegie Hall if you practice, practice, practice, and you can get to Carnie Deli if you call Carnegie Hall and ask them how to get to Carnegie Deli — trust me when I say this is not an infrequent occurrence and they know what to tell you. You can also have a pretzel, if you know where to find them. But there is one thing you absolutely cannot do, and that is: throw a Citi Bike in front of the subway.

This bike was tossed onto the tracks of the Steinway Street station in Astoria, Queens on Sunday around 10:30 p.m. As you can see from the video, the results are not good. At first you think they’re only going to be kind of bad, and then they become much worse. You cannot do this.

According to the NYPD, there were no injuries resulting from the bike explosion, though the station had to close for an hour and a half after a second train hit the bike. The incident, again according to police, caused “substantial risk of injury and smoke condition” and is currently under investigation.

"This was an attack on all of New York City that took place in the transit system," MTA spokesperson Tim Minton said in a statement. "The miscreants who threw that bike in the path of an oncoming train should be prosecuted for their reckless disregard for the safety of subway riders and workers."

In New York, you can: go to the park; see a pigeon; spend a lot of your parents’ money on drinks with people in “Dimes Square.” You cannot: do this.

Thank you.