Bag of Chips Now a Cop

Though it does seem to be "one of the good ones."

LOS ANGELES, UNITED STATES - 2020/02/01: Lay's potato chips packs seen in a Target superstore. (Phot...
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all chips are bastards

Here’s a nice story about a foil bag doing good after a member of the NYPD violated the basic premise of the Frito-Lay boycott that workers at the Topeka plant organized earlier this month.

On July 7, Officer Ronald Kennedy arrived at the scene of a stabbing in Harlem. Kennedy’s body cam footage shows blood everywhere and the victim slumped over in a folding chair on the sidewalk.

Kennedy yelled, “Go get me a bag of potato chips! Right now!” at a bystander. Likely in fear of his own life, the onlooker ran into a nearby bodega to secure the officer an emergency snack for his dipping blood sugar. It wasn’t a big deal, chips are like 89 cents and they weren’t even barbecue flavored, but a thank you or a you want one? would have been nice.

In a move that the heartbroken, menstruating, and marijuana-using among us would call “wasteful” and “unpatriotic,” Kennedy emptied the bag of classic Lay’s potato chips onto the sidewalk, commanded two people to help lay the victim down, and used masking tape to secure the chip bag to the skin surrounding the lung.

“Keep breathin’, bro,” he said with sort of an intense vibe, as the loose chips wilted beside him.

At the end of the 1:42 video of the life-saving chip hack, the NYPD Chief of Department (weirdly a real title) Rodney Harrison who posted the video tells viewers that, according to the Attending Physician at the victim’s hospital, Kennedy saved the victim’s life. But no credit to the chips? To be expected in De Blasio's New York.