UPDATE: French Blob Having Pizza Party in Space

But is the blob jerking off?


Space is so hot right now, but not in the way Earth is, oh and also not in the way these guys are. But, just — we’re talking about it, you’re talking about it, Jeff Bezos sort of went there, this kid went there with him (and jerked off?), a blob (la goutte) went there most recently. And now we can formally reveal — based on a story from the AP — that there’s pizza there, too, with the blob.

Here’s a video of pizza and the blob, plus some cheese, apples, kiwis, and a material simulating moon dust, being delivered to the seven astronauts aboard the International Space Station, featuring an ASMR soundtrack:

The shipment weighs 8,200 pounds. You’re probably wondering: Is the pizza fully assembled? No, it’s a pizza kit. The astronauts have to make the pizza themselves. This isn’t Pizza Hut; it’s space, and also the Pizza Hut location near where I lived as a child didn’t deliver, which you have to imagine must have in part led to its eventual closure.

Don’t you wish you were an astronaut having a pizza party in space with a blob? Wow, that would be very fun! (I don’t; I don’t ever want to go to space and I don’t even really like pizza very much, but I’m trying to project what I imagine is a more common point of view in order to connect with a larger audience.)