That’s So Poland: Country Sends Too Many Athletes to Olympics

In a very “Poland” move, the Polish Swimming Federation accidentally sent six too many athletes to the Tokyo Olympics due to an “administrative error” (?)As a result I am trying to understand what kind of “administrative error” would cause the Polish Swimming Federation to accidentally send six too many athletes to the Tokyo Olympics. Poland, a country best known for pierogies and aiding and abetting Nazis during the Holocaust, should know that an Olympic-sized swimming pool only has ten lanes, and if 23 swimmers were to compete in so few lanes, surely the underwater physics would be disrupted. Even 17 swimmers, the amount of swimmers Poland was actually allowed, seems like too many swimmers to me. This is simple science, and I am not even a person who can figure out how to move her legs and arms at the same time when I’m at the pool.

In another typical Poland move, Paweł Słomiński, the head of the Polish Swimming Foundation, made a statement casting blame on the International Olympic Committee. The mistake stemmed from his hope “to allow as many players and coaches as possible to take part" in the Tokyo games, which is not a good apology as it frames him as the good guy. Typical incompetent management. Typical... Poland.

The six ill-fated athletes, all of whom are relay swimmers, are headed home, armed with duffel bags full of official gear they can immediately hawk on Poshmark, ready to write scathing Glass Door reviews of the office culture of their fascist-ass management. This all reminds me of a joke my editor told me, about how the new Polish Navy has glass-bottom boats to see the old Polish navy. It’s certainly not a joke I’d make myself, nor do I really understand it, but she says it’s okay to joke because Poland has a bunch of Nazis. This is also a management issue.