Single Men Are Disgusting, Sleep in Filth

A new survey tells us what we already assumed

Young man sleeping in bed at home
survey says

Recall the feeling of slipping into a clean set of bed sheets. Ahhh. Yes, is one of the best feelings an average person can routinely experience: that brief period of time when your bed is crisp, clean, cool, with no dog or cat hair everywhere, no stuff that fell off of or came out of your body, and no crumbs. This feeling can be achieved simply by throwing one’s bedsheets in the washer, and yet it apparently remains elusive to some. A new survey of U.K. adults sheds light on the filthy existence of those wretched souls.

Out of the 2,250 adults surveyed, 40 percent of the single men — almost a full half — said they sleep in filthy bed sheets for up to four months — four months — at a time. (The recommended duration between clean sets of sheets, from health experts, is one week.) 12 percent of those men said they wash them “when they remember,” which the BBC aptly notes “could be even longer.”

As for everyone else, 62 percent of single women said they washed their sheets every two weeks, and the majority of couples said three weeks.

Of course, this is not the first time we’ve been confronted with the fact that single men are disgusting Garbage Pail Kids who are resigned to live in their own stench and filth. For one, we can tell that by dating them. And for two, there have been about a million other surveys about this. A survey from 2018, for example, found single American men waited 45 days before washing their sheets. This one from 2017 found single men “only wash their sheets only four times a year and rarely changed the pillowcases.”

One has to wonder why, after being asked seemingly incessantly about how often they wash their sheets (after which they are told, each time, that their answer is incorrect), single men haven’t “gotten the hint.”

In response to the idea that one might only change his sheets every four months (which, I’ll do the math for you, is three times a year) neuroscientist and sleep expert Dr. Lindsay Browning told the BBC, "That's really not a good plan."

I agree.