Next Season on ‘You,’ No More Killing
Too stressful.
WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS ABOUT THE MOST RECENT SEASON OF YOU, AND “YOU,” HA-HA, SHOULD HAVE SUSPECTED THAT WHEN YOU CLICKED ON IT. THE ONLY REASON I AM NOT SPOILING SOMETHING IN THIS DISCLAIMER TO PUNISH YOU IS BECAUSE I KNOW WE HAVE INFINITE SCROLL AND I DON’T WANT TO ACCIDENTALLY PUNISH SOMEONE WHO DOES NOT DESERVE PUNISHMENT, LIKE WHEN LOVE PUSHED THE NEIGHBOR BOY DOWN THE STAIRS — OOPS SORRY.
I love the Netflix show You. I love Joe’s use of the second person. I love how his erudition has opened my eyes to little-known novels such as The Great Gatsby and To Kill a Mockingbird. I love suspending my disbelief in various aspects of successful murder coverups. I love when the show “rips” events from the “headlines,” like this season’s anti-vaxxer plot. I loved Love (RIP) and her beautiful facial expressions. I finished the most recent 10-episode season in what essentially amounted to two sittings, the final this past Saturday, and it was bliss. Absolute stupid perfection that sated my empty brain in a quite pleasing way. But I do have one request for next season.
Please no more murders.
This season, it seemed like a murder or attempted murder happened about every fifteen minutes. Joe and Love’s glass cage got more action than your mother’s bedroom on a Saturday night, which is a joke I’d like to get out ahead of and apologize for. Luckily it was never much of a problem for the couple; it seems mysteriously leaving town for several days and only alerting people to the fact that you have left via your social media channels sometime after the fact must be a sort-of “way of life” for the residents of Madre Linda. But it was stressful for me, the viewer. And I’d like a break.
In season three, I wished for just a few episodes where we saw Joe and Love — compelling characters on their own, even when they are not bashing people in the brain with a blunt object — just living their little California lives. Maybe something like, they had too many parties to go to and Joe was grumpy about it. That would have been fun. Or what about if there was one episode where Joe stalked that lady he likes, and it was weird, but nobody extraneous died? Ahhh. Or something like maybe one of them could have said, “Whew, thank god we covered up that murder and nobody suspects anything. Let’s take a break now for a while and just be normal,” and then they did?
Next season, Joe follows the library lady and her daughter to Paris. Ah, the city of light. Here is my idea: He finds them, and they have a nice time together. We see them wearing berets, drinking wine. Joe gets obsessed over some French mime and he’s like, You … who are are you? Based on your outfit … a mime. And then maybe the mime traps Joe “in a box” for a change, and that’s humorous? Obviously I can’t write the whole season right now, but I’d be willing to work on staff. Oh, and they can have pastries and coffee.
So, that’s my thought. Next season — no more killing. Too stressful. Thanks.
