Jojo Should Host SNL

Today, the jokesters running SNL posed a provocative question on Twitter: Who should host the famed variety show in its 48th season?

A good host and a game musical guest who plays along in some sketches can make or break an episode – for example, I still sing this Jonas Brothers/Lonely Island collab from 2009 to myself every time I hear the word “Africa” or “sweat.” Apparently 13-time host Alec Baldwin hosted that episode, yet I have no memory of a single thing he said or did that night, not even “Fourth Jonas Brother,” though I’m sure it was as funny as his Emmy-winning Trump impression.

Youths, like I was at the time, don’t care about Alec Baldwin, or even Steve Martin or Tina Fey. SNL is a centuries-old legacy institution, and it’s not going to stay alive by banking on nostalgia for “Schweddy Balls” or even my beloved millennial mainstay Penelope. The youngsters want a new voice, one who speaks to them directly, and preferably in a raspy lisp.

I don’t mean to beat a lobbed off horsetail here, but Jojo Siwa’s got to host SNL and perform as her own musical guest. NOW.

She’s more talented than Jimmy Fallon, and she’s even got a built-in Sarah Squirm aesthetic sensibility. In fact, Jojo’s been trafficking in Nickeloden green slime her whole life up until recently, and much of Squirm’s work focuses on body horror. They’d be a natural fit as writing partners. Plus Jojo’s a loler – remember the Candace Cameron Bure of it all? Imagine a sketch where Jojo goes to Candace’s allegedly non-homophobic church to patch things up — the jokes write themselves.

I’m legitimately laughing aloud to myself right now picturing what they’d get up to. Plus, Jojo is an all-time impressionist: remember her Pennywise on Dancing with the Stars? Once again, I’m laughing.

Jojo’s song “Boomerang” is a rock the Studio 8H down boots anthem, and I’m sure, speaking as her biggest fan and an adult Siwanator, that she’s got another song too that’s just escaping my memory. Whatever! She can improvise – she’s the funniest person on TikTok and gave a Ted Talk at nine years old, which is more than I can say for former host Rudy Giuliani.

I want Lorne Michaels to think hard about this one. While idiots in the comments are saying shit like “Lil Nas X” and “John Cena” and “the cast of Only Murders in the Building,” we need to focus on what’s important: Jojo Siwa and Mikey Day doing a weeks-old political cold open as FBI agents tasked with retrieving boxes from Mar-a-Lago, only to discover they’re unreadable due to Diet Coke stains and Cheeto detritus. And that’s the future of comedy.