I Reject the Reality of the Mosquito Tornado

Nice try, Russia.

Mosquito warning prohibited sign. Anti mosquitoes, insect control vector symbol. Stop and control mo...

There’s always some new terrible shit with bugs. Swarms of spotted lanternflies, murder hornets. Now this thing: mosquito “tornado.” Are you kidding me?

No. The “tornado” happened on the eastern coast of Russia and it apparently lasted “for several hundred meters” according to a guy named Alexei who saw it and was quoted in the Daily Mail. He continued, “It wasn't a pleasant experience as I could hardly see the road. I didn't dare open my windows. Giant pillars of mosquitoes were visible everywhere I looked.” This is too much.

And listen to what this entomologist named Lyudmila Lobkova said to Kamchatka Inform, according to the Siberian Times, according to a tweet, according to the New York Post: “These are male mosquitoes swarming around one of several females in order to mate — there is nothing wrong with this.”

Okay — yes there is. Enough.

Bugs are already terrible. We don’t need new terrible shit with them. They’re always on you when you’re outside, particularly right now, which is late July. I can’t stand it. I have three new mosquito bites just from walking my dog this morning. And he’s always trying to eat bees. Why? Fucking bees. I hate it. Fuck all the new shit with bugs.