Going Once! Some Piece of Shit From the Depp/Heard Trial

A notebook is for sale for $15,000

FAIRFAX, VA - MAY 27: (NY & NJ NEWSPAPERS OUT) Johnny Depp waves to his fans as he arrives outside c...
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victory lap

Good news: If you have at least $15,000 to spare, you may be able to bet on a “TOP SECRET” notebook from inside the recently concluded Johnny Depp and Amber Heard defamation trial. The notebook is being sold by a man named Larry Foreman. Who is Larry Foreman? Great question — he’s just some guy. He has no affiliation with the Depp or Heard legal team; he’s simply a civilian who attended Days 23 through 26 of the actors’ trial.

With any circus, you can expect a sideshow, and the sideshow lives mostly online, where if the top-secret notebook is out of your price range, you could always go for the cheaper wristband option, which according to TMZ, are being auctioned on eBay for up to four figures per used band. Why say goodbye to the best time of your life (watching the trial on the Law & Crime Network) when it can live on forever in your home?

The funds from Foreman’s auction of his top-secret notebook (which includes 20 pages of notes per day — who has the wrist strength in this day and age?) are not going to Foreman himself, but to the Children’s Hospital of Los Angeles. This may sound generous in theory, but real Depp/Heard-heads will know that this is a charity of great significance in the canon of the trial: After Heard won her suit against Depp in the U.K., she pledged to give her winnings to the CHLA, but apparently hadn’t paid out in full. Foreman wrote on the eBay listing: “Now is the time for the public to step up and donate where others have faltered in their pledges. Now is the time to become role models in altruism.” Now is the time to become role models in altruism, after people made memes about a woman crying through an account of her sexual and physical abuse? Noted!

The victory lap that the Depp team is taking goes far beyond eBay. First stop: TikTok, where Depp created an account so he could personally thank his fans for “doing the right thing together, all because [they] cared,” accompanied by vintage-filtered footage of him driving away from the courthouse. His lawyers, Camille Vasquez and Benjamin Chew (the former of whom became something of a célébrité herself throughout the course of the trial), appeared on the Today Show to promise Savannah Guthrie that the verdict doesn’t set women back at all.

“We encourage all victims to come forward and have their day in court,” Vasquez said, in reference to a woman who had her day in court and lost. Guthrie — who disclosed at the top of the interview that her husband consulted on the Depp case — closes out the interview congratulating Vasquez on her promotion to partner, a victory for women everywhere.