Elon Musk Tweets Through Sexual Harassment Allegations

Last night, about six hours before Harry Styles’ new album Harry’s House was released, Insider broke the news that Elon Musk’s company SpaceX paid $250,000 to settle a sexual misconduct accusation with a flight attendant in 2016. Allegedly, Musk requested a full body massage aboard the flight, and subsequently exposed himself to her and asked her to perform sexual acts in exchange for a horse.

The Insider story details in-house massage therapists as a noted benefit for executives at SpaceX, whose muscles must ache tremendously from the stress of building spaceships that don’t work with government money. It can be profoundly difficult, surely, to work for Silicon Valley’s most erratic idiots, and this particular employee was encouraged by her superiors to pay for her own massage license out of pocket in order to better serve Musk. Why a billionaire couldn’t shell out a few hundred bucks for one measly massage license is beyond my line of thinking. Maybe he had a website to pretend to purchase and wanted to save up.

The Insider scoop comes from a friend of the former employee’s. The flight attendant herself was given $250,000 in a severance package and signed several NDAs, though SpaceX forgot to take into account how much friends of women love to disclose. Though this is the first allegation against Musk, specifically, six women sued Tesla for sexual harassment last year, corroborating a yucky little male-driven culture not worth whatever carbon emissions those cars are saving.

Musk, as he does with all things, has been posting through it, initially warning that, “Political attacks on me will escalate dramatically in coming months,” and now posting the crazier of the two crying-laughing emojis in reference to what he’s named “Elongate.” Sure, there’s a lot to laugh about. Tesla stock continues to plummet, Musk doesn’t have enough money to buy a website no one likes, and he’s put forth a challenge for the woman in question to identify a part of his body not otherwise publicly seen like a scar (?) or a tattoo (??), all the while accusing the friend who spoke to Insider of being a “far-left actress.” In the meantime, Musk is only surrounding himself with non-toxic people — like Jair Bolsonaro.