Disgusting Old Cake Sells for, Honestly, Less Than You'd Think

If you had to guess how much a slice of cake from Prince Charles and Princess Diana’s 1981 wedding went for at auction, what would you guess? You can take a second to think about it. I would guess a lot. Probably like … at least $20,000, if I’m being modest. If I had a slice of cake from Charles and Diana’s wedding in storage, I would be thinking: I’m set. I have that cake. That cake is gonna fund my retirement someday, after a The Crown-loving weirdo buys it, or maybe some sort of royal museum. Whenever I got laid off I’d think, thank fucking god I at least have that cake.

But I would be wrong. At auction, the filthy cake, which has a has a white marzipan base and features a coat of arms, went for a lousy $2,565 (£1,850). Can’t put a downpayment on a house with that. And that price is much more than it was estimated to go for, according to CNN, which was an amount between $416 and $693. What! Can’t buy shit with that. Don’t people like Princess Diana? What are all those people spending their money on if not this?

The cake piece is from one of 23 cakes that were made for the wedding, which I guess must have an impact on its worth. CNN says the piece was probably from one of the cakes given to royal staff, as it was originally the possession of Moyra Smith, who worked for Queen Elizabeth. She stored it in a floral cake tin that she labeled: “Handle with care — Prince Charles & Princess Diane’s [sic] wedding cake,” which, haha, is very funny. Princess Diane. It was sold to a private collector who then put it up for auction.

Auctioneer Chris Albury told CNN he had never seen an auctioned cake that was so well preserved and so large. "I've not seen anyone else trying to sell anything like this," he said. "It's quite a lump."

It is, I guess, quite a lump. $2,565, though? Might as well eat it.