Cyber Monday Deal: The Perfect PJs for the Whole Family

My neck, my back, my jammies show ass crack

happy family in checkered pajamas: mother father and children watching projector, film, movies with ...
cracklin' fire

Tired of trawling the web today for Cyber Monday deals? Are all the pajamas you’re finding for a matching holiday card either too expensive or have too much fabric? Do you find old-fashioned drop-seat pajamas an inelegant solution to poop and/or having sex during the holiday season?

Luckily, I spent hours finding the perfect plaid jammies for you and the entire family, even dad. And even better news — they’re under $14 and your purchase will support a woman creator (Rihanna) dollars and we’re supporting a woman creator,, courtesy of Rihanna’s Savage x Fenty line. The Tied Up Tartan Open-Back PJ Pant in the Blue Aruba Canterbury Plaid colorway by Rihanna’s Savage x Fenty line is perfect for the holiday season.

Size inclusive and oh-so-cozy, the singular “open bum” design and rose gold-tone grommet detail at back tie is perfect for binging holiday movie marathons, smiling for photos with Rumchata in hand, and impressing your cousin’s new fiance with that ultra-defined butt-crack you’ve worked so hard on over the last few months. How deep does that abyss go? The pool of filial love is an expanding well, especially during Christmastime. It is infinite. And at 49 percent rayon 51 percent cotton blend, your legs can breathe almost as well as your exposed ass.

They will probably catch on fire, so be careful around open flames.

These aren’t strictly wintertime pajamas, but if you look closely, the butt starts to resemble a reindeer hoof. Ho, ho, ho!