An Important Update Regarding the Status of Zooey Deschanel

There are a few things we know for sure about actress and musician Zooey Deschanel.

1. She dates a Property Brother.
2. The Property Brother she dates is an identical twin, however, to her, he and his brother “don't look alike at all.”
3. It is impossible for any of us to know what Zooey Deschanel’s Property Brother looks like to Zooey Deschanel.
4. She is the star of the beloved erstwhile sitcom New Girl.
5. Her social media output has the tenor of an old television show that still tweets.
6. She is a manic pixie dream gir—

EHHHHH. (THAT IS THE WRONG BUZZER NOISE SOUND EFFECT.)

In a new interview “with” the Guardian (“with” in scare quotes because all of the questions come from the Guardian’s commenters and include such gems as “was most of New Girl improvised?”) (it was not) Deschanel discussed her new She & Him album. She also discussed why people don’t like her character Summer in 500 Days of Summer, how she feels about the fact that no one liked her movie The Happening, and how it feels that her movie Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which was meant to be a series of films, only made it to the first film because, again, nobody liked it.

I appreciate the commenters’ obvious candor in the questions they asked Zooey Deschanel, but we must get to the reason why we are gathered here today. A commenter called Callummcfadden asked her about the unfortunate moniker “manic pixie dream girl,” writing, “How do you feel about being labeled as the manic pixie dream girl?”

“I don’t feel it’s accurate,” she said. “I’m not a girl. I’m a woman.”

Got it? She is a:

woman.

She added that while the title doesn’t hurt her feelings, she does feel that it’s a way of making a woman one-dimensional, which is correct and perhaps too forgiving of “manic pixie dream girl,” a title bestowed upon women by men whose personality is an open leather vest worn over a t-shirt.

Please update the manic pixie dream entry in your Zooey Deschanel encyclopedia. Cross out manic pixie dream girl. Instead write: manic pixie dream woman. Zooey Deschanel is a multi-faceted manic pixie dream woman. And aren’t we all!