Why Doesn't Jennifer Aniston Just Date Olivia's Dad?

We’ve already solved her dating problem.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - JANUARY 19: (EDITORS NOTE: This image is a retransmission) Jennifer Anisto...
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Some people just want to be miserable, I guess. That’s the only conclusion we can draw from the fact that Jennifer Aniston is still looking for someone to date, even though my coworker Olivia Craighead told her two weeks ago that she should date her dad.

“No one of importance has hit my radar yet but I think it’s time,” Jennifer Aniston said yesterday on Sirius XM’s “Radio Andy,” which is hosted by someone named Bruce Bozzi. “I think I’m ready to share myself with another.” Okay. We already know this, because two weeks ago she said she was looking for somebody normal to date. You have to wonder if Aniston even listened when, in response to her request for a normal guy, Olivia told her that her dad is six feet tall and a very good cook.

Aniston described herself as “an old school girl” when it comes to app-based dating, meaning she doesn’t like to do it. “People don’t come up to people anymore,” she told Sirius XM. “They don’t do that. It’s weird.” Yeah, that’s because you’re Jennifer Aniston. You’re extremely famous. You gotta go up to somebody, and to be more specific you have to go up to Olivia’s dad. He lives in the D.C. area.

I asked Olivia for another example of something about her dad, and she said he’s a “big movie guy.” Okay, are you kidding me? Jennifer Aniston loves movies so much she has even been in some of them. This is perfect. Jennifer, please contact Olivia for more info. We just want to help.