What Do All These Fashionistas Have Up Their Gloves?
It came to fisticuffs at a LACMA benefit on Saturday
Last night at the Gucci-sponsored Art + Film Gala at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, all the slyest starlets and the Machiavellian alleged cult leader Jared Leto refused to show one’s hands. It’s official: Gloves are trending in the City of Angels. The ladies (and man) looked fab with their digits obscured and ready to face the cold, dark winter ahead, but what were they hiding?
Come and take a peep for yourself.
Olivia Wilde
As was a major thematic element in Don’t Worry Darling, which you’ve probably read a thing or two about, there’s probably something sinister going on underneath this idyllic SoCal scene. Like Olivia Wilde’s red pleather mitts, this goes all the way to the top.
What's she hiding in those?
Forbidden female pleasure rarely seen on the silver screen.
Billie Eilish
The bad guy Gucci glove-lover is sheer perfection when she’s not standing with her old-ass random boyfriend.
What's she hiding in those?
Three loose Ambiens divided equally among thumbs. She had to buy a pill cutter at Walgreens real quick.
Jodie Turner-Smith
If you’ve watched even 35 minutes of a Bravo show, you know that flapper parties have been trending since at least 2010. Jodie Turner-Smith’s fringey gloves are a ton of fun.
What's she hiding in those?
Ohhh, that’s where that thing went. It’s Anne Boleyn’s missing head.
Kendall Jenner
The friend to Lisa Rinna slapped a pause sign on her torso as if to say, “My hands are down here, fellas.” Kendall Jenner’s gloves only cover her knuckles, but they still count.
What's she hiding in those?
Any semblance of the god-given star factor meted out to other members of her family.
Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian’s been covering her hands for months now, likely inspired by former frenemy Paris Hilton who once said the reality star’s ass looked like “cottage cheese in a trash bag.” (Hilton was at the gala too, notably ungloved.)
What's she hiding in those?
Kim’s been through a lot lately with her ex-husband, so I want to try and be kind. Uhh... maybe that lock of Marilyn Monroe hair that Ripley’s curators gifted to her? The secret to being a good mom, Christian, and businesswoman?
Salma Hayek
A beautiful set of gloves, a gorgeous dress, and two bangin’ boobs.
What's she hiding in those?
Nothing. She’s perfect.
Jared Leto
The 30 Seconds to Mars crooner went for black leather paired with a fuchsia suit, a tongue twister that might turn * me * into the Joker.
What's he hiding in those?
Well, he’s started taking his phone everywhere with him ever since he walked out of a silent desert retreat and discovered the country had shut down because of Covid. That was a rude awakening.
Mariacarla Boscono
Italian supermodel Mariacarla Boscono must have taken a superhero style nod from Leto, sweating through the red carpet in full-length leather gloves.
What's she hiding in those?
While her thigh-high boots pretty much got it covered re: storage, she got a little cappuccino going on in the gloves too. La dolce vita, signora!
Thuso Mbedu
The actress went for a blue lace gloved leotard underneath a clamshell bra.
What’s she hiding in those?
What’s that word? Fork.
Quinta Brunson
The Abbott Elementary creator traded in her belted cardigans for an imposing gown and a pair of black sheers.
What’s she hiding in those?
I don’t know, but she must have met the Try Guys at one point during her Buzzfeed career, and nobody on the red carpet asked her about it? Bad journalism.
Alessandra Ambrosio
The Brazilian Victoria’s Secret angel played with proportions with severe shoulders, tin man boots, an exaggerated waist, and a fully concealed arm and hand.
What’s she hiding in those?
A PINK rayon lace thong that got tangled up with the gloves in the washer/dryer.
Kathryn Hahn
The most talented and famous woman in America got experimental with her gloves, going for a slim-fit hand and a ruched and puffed elbow.
What’s she hiding in those?
An idea for a fourth Bad Moms film, titled (and hear her out) A Bad Mom’s Mother’s Day.
Glove to see it, gurls!
