Katie Maloney Seems to Have Maybe Divorced Tom Schwartz

Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz are one of the most depressing couples featured on Bravo’s restaurant-themed vision of hell Vanderpump Rules, and it is a series that does not suffer from a lack of them. In fact, of all the couples featured during the last season — Katie and Schwartz, Sandoval and Ariana, Randall and Lala, Scheana and Brock, James and Raquell — 100 percent are horrifyingly worrisome. But at least two of those relationships have since ended.

Or is it three?

Yes, there are whispers that Katie and Schwartz have called it quits. Katie first sparked rumors that she and Sandoval had split in February, after sharing an Instagram post about divorce from Kim Kardashian and adding “Amen.” Hmmm. Since then, Reddit users spotted what they believe to be another clue: Katie is missing from a framed photoshopped family photo Sandoval created as some kind of prop for a recent Euphoria watch party he hosted. Well, well, well. Then, she was spotted in an Instagram live video without her wedding ring. Huh. And now this?

“Katie Maloney fueled speculation that she and husband Tom Schwartz may be headed for a divorce by sharing a photo of herself without her wedding ring Thursday,” says Page Six.

“Dirty Martinis per usual,” Katie wrote as the photo’s caption, but her followers were not so easily tricked. “👀 no 💍?! Whatever is going on I hope you are good.😘🤗😘🤗” said one. “Hand placement on purpose?” said another. “No ring....when are you going to make a statement (verbal that is) because the last few posts shows no ring,” said a rather demanding third.

Some accuse Katie of using a potential divorce as bait to entice Bravo to pick up Vanderpump Rules for another horrible season. But we can only pray the rumors are true. Yes, gathered in joyful hope, we offer our prayers to God, who in this case is Andy Cohen. Please rise.

For Katie Maloney, that she may divorce Tom Schwartz, a cheating coward who frequently gets black-out drunk and yells at her, before the payment of his Schwartz & Sandy’s-related debt lands on her shoulders.

Lord, hear our prayer.

For Tom Schwartz, that he may learn to take his wife’s side in arguments, and that the police may not find him once he flees the country and changes his identity to escape having to pay his own portion of the aforementioned Schwartz & Sandy’s-related debt.

Lord, hear our prayer.

For Tom Sandoval, that he may stop being such a dumbass, if even just for a moment.

Lord, hear our prayer.

For Ariana, may she leave Sandoval, as well.

Lord, hear our prayer.

For “Something About Her Sandwich Shoppe,” the sandwich shop Katie and Ariana want to open together that was last seen getting funding from Randall, something which I have to assume is no longer happening.

Lord, hear our prayer.

For Brittany, Jax’s wife, even though she is no longer on the show. Oh my goodness. God help her.

Lord, hear our prayer.

And finally for Scheana, for everything.

Lord, hear our prayer.

Amen.