Remaining Try Guys Try-mautized by Immense Grief

It has been hard on us all, that the married Try Guy had an affair. Left with only three remaining Guys in our arsenal — “tall glasses,” “small glasses,” and “why is he doing this” — we are wounded, bereft. Our bodies will hold the trauma; we know this much, if nothing else. To help us process, both the tall one and the small one gathered for an episode of their TryPod podcast.

(The other one, real name Eugene, didn’t want to be there because, as another one explained, “To be totally open and frank, Eugene does not like doing podcasts.” Sounds right. Going forward, the TryPod is just going to be the glasses ones. It’s a lot of change, I know. Thank you for your patience.)

In the episode titled “ok, let’s talk about it,” a follow-up to the somber YouTube video titled “what happened.,” Keith Habersberger (tall) and Zach Kornfeld (small) discussed their anguish.

“We processed this almost like a trauma,” Kornfeld said. “It really rocked our world, but also the ramifications were so clear. I don’t think that I really ever stopped to emotionally process it. Even still, I don’t know that I have. Because it was just, ‘OK, we have to act. We have to go. This thing happened, how do we react accordingly?’ I understood the severity of the accusations against Ned, but also the laundry list of steps ahead.”

“We just learned a lot about how difficult it is to navigate things like this at all, let alone properly,” Habersberger said. “It’s really challenging. There’s a lot of people to consider. There’s a lot of legal issues to consider.”

I’m just so glad we’re living in a time where things like this — trauma; grief; lawyers; accounting; the difficult dance of canceling a business partner correctly and with enough advance notice that the business itself does not get canceled — are destigmatized, so that we can, without shame, process them aloud.

The discussion continued for over an hour, and you can listen yourself if you have the emotional fortitude, but I will sum up the talking points here in case you are still in a delicate state:

• They would have kicked out the married guy even if the internet never found out about his infidelity, because: “It betrayed our trust. It was a workplace violation. It would mean to all the people in our office who knew what they knew, that we were not true to everything we say we are and our values.”
• There will not be a new Try Guy, but there will be new guys trying being Try Guys: “We will have new people that come in and out… I don’t want to put the pressure on anyone to say, ‘This is the new Try Guy and he is the replacement.’ That’s not fair to them.”
• The one of them has diarrhea

“We have prided ourselves for the last eight years on being undramatic boys, and I can’t wait to go back there,” Kornfeld said, jesus christ. “This whole fucking circus is not interesting to me and not what I ever want to be defined as, as a creative person.”

Yes, please remember the undramatic boys in the way they’d prefer — as creative people who eat Taco Bell and stick tampons in their urethra on YouTube (just guessing).