Tom Brady’s Hand Caught Engaging in Public Nudity

For the second time this month, the athlete was spotted without his wedding band

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just ring things

Stop — cover your eyes! Leave only a sliver of sight available to read this blog post — for the sake of decency! What I am about to tell you is not for the faint of heart, nor is it for any American under the age of 21. (Europeans may hear the news earlier.) New England’s Florida Queen has been spotted au naturel, in the buff, exposed, and Page Six was there to witness the scene firsthand and spill all the indecorous details to us — its loyal readership! Take heart, and come with me — to the next paragraph!

In a defiant display of public hand nudity, Tom Brady was spotted without his wedding band on Sunday. The indecency happened as he boarded a bus in Pennsylvania, en route to the Sunday night game his Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost to the Pittsburgh Steelers. (You remember — he was emotional about it.)

According to Page Six, which nabbed the photographs of the hideous event, Brady was wearing a white T-shirt under a light blue button-down, and he was carrying a camouflage duffle bag in his left hand. What his left hand wasn’t carrying, though? Why yes, you already know — a wedding band.

While we do not have the license to show you these naughty, almost pornographic bandless images, we have done our best to recreate them in somewhat of an expert manner. Please look away if you must.

As you can see, this is Tom Brady’s bare hand. As for what’s missing, well — does this help you?

Lewd, and not for the first time. That was when he was spotted sans ring in a 2022 FIFA World Cup commercial earlier this month. (I don’t know why he was in it and I’m not going to find out; I don’t think he plays soccer but I guess he might.) Will the indecency continue? We can only wait and see while shaking our weary head like this: tsk, tsk.