The Tom Brady ‘Masked Singer’ Plot Thickens

The show is attempting to convince viewers he’s a contestant

HOUSTON, TEXAS - DECEMBER 01: Tom Brady #12 of the New England Patriots warms up before an NFL footb...
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I’m not sure how news-savvy you are, but — have you been following the Masked Singer drama currently surrounding Tom Brady? I’ll summarize: Some people think he’s going to be on The Masked Singer. (The Masked Singer is a show where washed-up crooks wear a big costume and sing.)

The rumors seem to stem from the fact that Brady took an 11-day break from Tampa Bay Buccaneers training camp, citing only “personal” reasons. There were rumors that he was injured, that he was on vacation, that he was busy cradling his best friend’s whole body amid the current drama that friend is experiencing (my theory), and of course that he was filming The Masked Singer. Football analyst Kendall Valenzuela stoked the Masked Singer claims in a video on Twitter:

“I think Tom Brady cannot tell anyone where he is because he is a contestant on The Masked Singer,” she said, citing the fact that both Tom Brady and The Masked Singer are FOX-owned properties, and that football players Antonio Brown and Rob Gronkowski have already appeared on the show.

Brady himself has denied the rumor:

Still, The Masked Singer, not one to shy away from advertisements for The Masked Singer, posted an Instagram photo featuring trophies with the caption, “The news is GOATing out of hand.” And now TMZ Sports is alleging to have uncovered — in a sneaky way, one can only assume — video of Masked Singer judge Ken Jeong guessing that one of the costume freaks is Tom Brady.

“He just got fined for not showing up to training camp because he is here on The Masked Singer,” Jeong says. “This is seven-time Super Bowl winner Tom Brady!”

Okay not to put too much thought into this at the risk of fully destroying my self worth, but — why would the Masked Singer put out a clip of a correct guess? If the point is to keep its audience in suspense of who is underneath the fuckin ice cream monster suit or whatever? And of course, one also has to keep in mind, while the world withers around us, that TMZ, like Tom Brady and The Masked Singer, is also owned by FOX.

Do I personally think Tom Brady is going to be on The Masked Singer? I don’t care. Please leave me alone. Also I’m sorry for being rude.