Tom Brady Has No Friends

Everyone who knows the couple is Team Gisele

TAMPA, FLORIDA - OCTOBER 02: Tom Brady #12 of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers looks on prior to the game ag...
Douglas P. DeFelice/Getty Images Sport/Getty Images

“There is a side. We picked one.”

Those chilling words haven’t left our mind since we first heard Vanderpump Rules star Scheana Shay’s horrible beefy husband Brock say them on some podcast about the divorce of Tom Schwartz and Katie Maloney — and today, they are just as relevant. It seems Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen’s friends have, too, chosen a side. And for Tom Brady, this turn of events isn’t a “touchdown.”

“Gisele and Tom’s friends are upset at Tom for going back on his word and coming out of retirement,” a source told Us Weekly. “They hate the way Tom is refusing to bend for Gisele.”

Yes, they hate it. “BITCH! BEND!” they’re texting to him, and of course we agree. But in case you think Brady’s ravenous and unyielding dedication to his beloved American football is not the first problem he and Gisele have faced as a couple, well — you’re wrong. It is the first problem they’ve ever had (possibly because they’ve been having it for a decade). “This was really the first big issue they’ve had in their marriage,” the source said. “Friends are hoping they aren’t past the point of no return.”

It seems the friends likely have three group texts concerning the Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen situation. One with Tom (where they tell him to bend), one with Gisele (where they tell her: you got this mama) and one without either of them (where they say, oh my god I hope these assholes don’t get a divorce, I can’t deal with this right now, I’m already so busy and Cody just started school and he’s crying every morning and I’m still pretty worried about COVID, especially with the holidays coming up, and oh my god I am so not prepared for the holidays and etc.).

Will Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen be able to work it out? For the sake of Brady’s social life, we hope so. (Though of course he’ll always have one friend he can count on.) (And there’s always Brie Larson!)