Earlier this year, on Super Bowl weekend, Gisele Bündchen shared a selfie on Instagram with the caption, “Who is working this weekend? Let’s do this!” Tom Brady, her husband, whose team was not in the Super Bowl and who had at that point announced his retirement from the sport, reportedly responded, “I wish I was!” God. I would have divorced him immediately. A month later, he unretired.
I bring this up because, although I would never claim to understand the mind or motives of someone who has played brain-ruining football for 400 years, it seems likely he unretired in order to attempt to end his career as a Super Bowl champion. If that’s true, then he should have retired the year before, when he was not only a Super Bowl champion, but a Super Bowl champion who had a wife. Because now his team blows. (And he’s allegedly getting a divorce.)
Brady’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers lost to the Pittsburgh Steelers 20-18 on Sunday, putting their record for the season at 3-3. Brady is not taking it well. One can imagine him stomping around, huffing and puffing, tears burning his eyes. When you ask if he’s okay he shrieks, “LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!” and then runs away in footed pajamas, stomping up the stairs to slam his bedroom door. Gosh, what are we going to do with him.
According to a CNN report, Brady was seen offloading his anger onto his teammates during Sunday’s game. He reportedly shouted, “You’re so much better than you’re fucking playing!” And oh no … is that even true?
One thing you have to realize is that this is a delicate situation for Brady. As you may know, he has no friends. As his rumored divorce progresses, he only has his coworkers to lean on for love, companionship, and physical affection (when they pile on each other to get the football). It makes sense that he’d lash out at those closest to him during this time, and I’m sure his teammates understand, but still, it breaks my heart. Tom, give your coworkers a kissy and tell them you’re sorry. Tell them you’re under a lot of stress, and you didn’t mean it. Tell them you regret it. And, my love, keep wishing for that Super Bowl win.
Sometimes our wishes are all we have…